I want something to occupy my brains....
the >(korean drama series) i'm watching has 80 episopes.
i only watched 20.. but its really a nice show! not boring at all..!

hmm.. i really turning into a hua chi soon le lah!
i want to fall in love..~ badly...
why arh???? i always saying the same thing over and over again..
bored with myself..

bought the newspapers for today.. want to do a gd job screening de..
but.. haiz.. BLACKOUT for my block today!
the electricity was cut off since dunno when..
and only came back at 5pm...~ wah.....
haiz.. buy newspapers also quite useless..
i'm really growing plump leh.. =(..
never do anything just sit there and eat is definately a good way to gain weight..!

last sunday.. karine suddenly called me! was so shock.. i was lying down on my sofa.. when i receive her call.. i immediately sat up.. haha.. so funny.. really surprise to receive her call.. didn't contact her ever since me and zhen left church.. that's like more den one yr ago........she asked me and zhen out...! she became very slim! haha.. remains me of my sad slim times..! hahahahaha.. i think we had quite a enjoyable time together bah..

never do anything today!
jars say my interview failed.. -_-
those ppl very niao loh!
say they think that we're too young..
den wad for ask us to go for the interview!?
damn sickening lah~~
den weixian there also no news..
wad am i going to do on new yr's eve??!?!?
but the least thing that i'm happy about is that we finally get to rent our room out! after making so many calls to those agencys.. finally there's a couple from china.. wanting to rent the rooms! damn happy loh!!
wanted to rent to them at 500.. but they tot its abit ex.. so i was thinking 480.. they very clever also.. after the person brought them to our place.. they came back themselves and said that they dun wanna go thru agency.. this way.. both parties can save a huge amount of money.. so the rent is settled at 470.. finally i'm gonna get some allowance!! i'm soooo happy!!! gonna ask for 500 from mummy..! my pathetic allowance for december.. lOlx..! yeah...~~~ but they are moving in 2 days later..! haha.. so fast... needa clean up the place.. everywhere is sooo messy...

but still i need to find a job..
JOB JOB JOB....

watched about 14 hours of tv today loh...~
gonna grow fat for sure.......................

i think i like you..
but i dun think you do..
and i'm not going to do anymore silly things..
i promise myself..

here's how i spend my christmas eve and christmas day...

hmm..
6+pm.. waiting alone outside fish and co for jars and elaine..
7+pm.. they finally came and we wait together for the seats..
8+pm.. linda's also here and we digged in..
10+pm.. at esplanade playing cards..(daidee)
11+pm.. walked to boat quey to count down..

MeRRy ChRiStMaS!

12+am.. spraying ppl and get sprayed at..
1am.. at ps watching meet the fockers.. and toking to the stranger that was sitting beside me.. he's alone! so sad.. all because elaine lah.. have to leave the single seat there..
2+am.. the show ended.. and i seat on nacho box with cheese ambushed on my chair by jasmine!
3am.. busily scrubbin my skirt.. my WHITE skirt.. and they came and we start taking photos in the toilet! haha so funny! cause no one's there to take for us.. so we end up taking our reflections in the mirror!
3+am.. walking to paradiz centre and wanted to play pool.. discovered that snookerim (or wadeva it's suppose to be spelt as..) is CLOSED! wanted to take a cab back.. but 5 of us.. no cab driver wants to take.. finally.. after we've decided to walk back.. (but actually is bu si xing and kept asking..) a kind taxi driver took us in! elaine was hiding really well in the back seats.. she's so small..~
4+am..waiting for pool table at cineleisure..
6+am.. walking over to lido for mac breakfast.. so boring.. played cards again.. yes.. daidee.. till 7:10..
7+am.. on the bus home.. fall asleep and almost missed my stop.. but just almost lah.. i jumped up and alighted.. lOlx..
8+am.. bathed and zZzZzz..
4pm.. woke up by my alarm clock.. (suppose to have a date with yuzhen and her bf and her bf's friend shihong.. <-- as describe as tall and not bad looking.. but wad cancelled.. *disappointed*)
4+pm.. got out of the call and received the personally sent xmas card at my doorstep from keith! so sweet~
5+pm.. reached crown prince hotel.. still got security.. and pay slip.. and must punch card.. so troublesome! my first and last time here ever~
6+pm.. in the ballroom getting brief.. and being blur..
7+pm.. still being blur..
8+pm.. finally not so blur.. but still blur..
10+pm... still BLUR..
11pm.. blur-ly.. work ended..
11+pm.. on my way home..
12+am.. reached home..
2+am... ZZzzZzz

dun worry weili.. haha..
its not ur comp's fault..
i'm allowing only one day's entries on shown..
so that was my only entry for the day..
ppl.. if u all wanna see other entries..
go search for my archives.. hehe.. =P
today was mad at mummy again..
sob.. went to cry to daddy..
not that there's any help..
anyways.. went out after watching my now favorite korean drama xing niang 18 sui
(18 yr old bride.. aka little bride)
very pissed at mummy! and my eyes swollen..
saw this very cute piggy with linda and seekee..
me and seek wan to buy it for linda as her xmas prezzie!
we saw it at 3+.. and went back for it at 6+..
just 3 hrs..! and ta-ta.. its gone! super disappointed..
went shopping with seekee at lot 1..
she bought a pair of sneakers..
(after much troubles.. heheee)
and a pair of socks so she can try the sneakers with..!
den we went to popular to get those photo albums that she claim she hid yesterday... haha.. after searching up and down.. we found 1 of the 2 album.. but the other one really gone.. finally.. after much messing up of the place.. seekee found another one that pleases her..
Home Time! (actually i'm not excited AT ALL..)
took 188 home.. was really fast..
(cause not many ppl taking it anyway..)
tried to read but felt that puking halfway..
reached home and saw mum watching tv..
damn pissed... went straight to my room..
jars call and we discuss those thingy tml..
yq im me in msn..
asking me wad's wrong and everything..
after me trying hard to show some attitude..
he gave up.. and let me be..
but i suddenly felt so upset..
called him.. just kept crying after i said hello...
i think i read too much romance story le loh!
i told him.. (sTACe! u think u're wad???!)
"i also dunno wad to say.. just be with me for awhile.."
-_- wad a thing to say?! then i just kept crying..
finally i also dunno why after quite awhile..
den i told him everything.. really everything..
i'm so surprise at myself..
why is it that those things i could never bring myself to tell others.. i can easily tell him..?
wad's so special bout him?
is it just because he's my "daddy"...??? or is it because...?
nonononononoono... cannot be..
*ahem ahem* fullstop..!
i think i'm just too closed up..
because last time wadeva it is..
i can tell alf... now i dunno who to tell..
also dunno why i never tell zhen.. because she's too busy with her own life? and wilson..? *shrug*...... think we're drifting apart without us knowing.. i dun want! must save my friendship..
haha.. ask her out more often bah..!
my flu has yet to recover.. i think it worsen..
my voice didn't sound anywhere near better..
so is my nose! haiz..
seldom sick for so long.. been 1 wk already..
i hate being sick!!
so tired.. my eyes feels swollen.. (they are..!)
i'm gonna look ugly tml..! (oh well.. never was pretty anyway... -_-)

tml's christmas eve!
(not much xmas mood though..)

Argh~
i also want to fall in love loh! =(

i apologise for sounding like a spoilt brat earlier...
no matter wad.. she's still my mummy..
just now almost say the wrong thing to kj daddy..
wad so wrong with me?
must be watching too many romance dramas..
haha.. he's telling me that his friend yi bin is not bad..
den i tell him.. "u know i'm not the kind to make the first move.. u're an exception.." den he ask why...
and i almost said.. "cause i loved u so much.." -_-
heng i never said that!!! hahaa.. he laugh it off by saying that cause he's too gd.. heng i can use the self praise = no praise to round it up..
such bimbo acts.. must be under the influence of linda! lOlx..
anyways.. i finally sent out the christmas cards today..
dunno whether it'll be late or not leh..



i'm feeling so lonely..................

i'm so upset.. so damn pissed.. and hurt..
she's my mum!! all she toks about is money money money..
how poor everything is now..
i never asked a single cent from her..
so wad's her problem?!
if i know daddy want to divorce her..
i should have encourage him..
but now he has given up that idea..
what my grandma say makes my heartaches..
daddy deserves someone better..
someone more encouraging and mature..
now it seems that i'm her mum and she's my daughter..
had she gone mad?
how can she be so childish and dun realise that?
i've told her that i'm finding a job le..
know wad she said..
"but u're jobless NOW!
wait till u find a job den i'll stop toking bout money.."
i can't stand it...!
i wanna move out of here..
i want daddy to divorce her
and throw her back to her family..
she's too much for me to handle..
i hate her! I hATe Her tO thE coRe~!

i'm leaving tml night..

i have no idea what am i going to do there..
slack around? its gonna be sooo cold..
and NO-ONE is fetching me..! thanks loh..
i'm just going to freeze and die on arrival..
updated my link.. added about hmm.. 6 blogs?
didn't realise that so many ppl have a blog..!
anywayz..

to Ah mAH

(my training tour roommate)

HapPy BIrTHdAy!!!!!!!

we went to lau pa sa for dinner.. expensive and not very nice..!
but ah mah treated us.. den the sting ray drop all over me..! stained my fave denim skirt and polo tee..!!! argh~~ damn upset loh.. dunno whether can wash away or not.. scrub for 20 mins leh.. haiz.. tml's basketball's BBQ.. den i'll go straight to the airport..

btw.. haifeng (my classmate) is on the same plane as me..! so cool..! first time so qiao.. but he wants to go shop the duty free shops.. dunno whether we can sit together.. cause i'll there LATE. haha.. cause i like to check in the last minute mah..

i went to watch the incredibles with yongjia today.. was very tired for no reason.. i was about to fall asleep halfway thru.. but.. the movie quite funny lah..! haha.. especially the baby boy.. soooo cute..!!! but some parts quite spiderman 2 leh.. like stopping the train for a broken railway.. and the destroyer also have those craws like the "octopus" in spiderman 2..

i suddenly realise i have alot of thingy to do loh..! like pack up my room.. and i just got another job interview.. thanks.. why the hell did i accept it????? like if they ask me to go for the interview.. i'll in china already lah! such a blur sotong loh..

yesterday quarrel like mad with my mum.. she finally agreed to help me settle my $200 phone bills and savings plan.. i'm very tight also mah! she scream at me like mad... =(... i'm broke..! and still going out for movies and BBQs.. hope i get a job soon when i'm back..!

somebody please employ me..!!!

too long never update..
almost forgot that i have a blog..
anyways.. yesterday was my PROM..!
haha.. huijie won the prom king..~ glory to bball team..!
the photos are out.. i look very fat!!! haha..
oh no.. should have wore that black one instead sia..
seekee's skirt alot of ppl wear lehx..! haha..
yawnz..
i'm gonna grow FAT.. cause got bbq after bbq waiting for me..!
hmm.. should be in china next week.. so.. u all can email me lah..! cause i'll be soooo bored..!
the plan is to transit Hong Kong..! i wanna go shopping..
(actually is fly to HK den take train to beijing.. hahahahz)
hAhAz..
yesterday the girls finally went to my house!!!
we all sleep with our hair still tied up lohz.. cause too tired to untie it...
i won the pin contest.. got 28 pins were used to style my hair.. seek has 27.. jars 23.. linda we dunno.. but should be quite little.. cause hers use rubber band to tie so not so much pins..!!! i look very fat in all the photos arh..~~ should have turn sideways.. den the face wun look so rounded..~~ wah.. my tummy damn ugly loh..! ARGH~~~!!!
sadded... haha.. i must go diet liao..
wah.. all say no action.. *shake head* sighz..

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!
i'm sooooo happy..!
just yesterday i brokedown and cry at my mechanics..
straight after fm p2.. the exams are over and u-didn't-do-badly feeling wasn't really there.. but its beginning to sank in..
i'm feeling more relief now..
LAST WORRY: prom night.. and my flabby meat.. haha..
how to make full use of this one week and get the most number of KGs off me..!!! especially the tummy fats..!!!
haha.. now on my list..

1. LoSe WeiGHt..!!!
2. GoOd PAying 9-5 Job.. dEn cAn paRt-tiME.. LOlx..
3. Get mE a BoYfRiend..!!!!!!

haha.. my expectation are not too high lah..
just dun be too unpresentable den best if 178cm and above..
dun be too skinny also..! cause i'm plum..
haha.. mad already.. -_-
hee.. to happy now..
go watch tv le..

Exam is ending...
this will mark the end of my "school uniform" life..
kinda unwilling to graduate now..
dun wanna face the grown-up world..
i wanna be a kid forever..!
but obviously that's not very possible..
i'm definately going to US no matter wad..
no money also smuggle myself there..! (just joking lah..)
last paper's on wednesday.. prom's on the 3rd..
i haven diet yet..!!!! haha..
pray for determination to diet siaz..
i dun wanna go prom this plum..!!!
lotsa money to be spend after wed..
gotta highlight my hair..!! hee.. and buy the gown..
and get someone to do my makeup and stuff..
(cause i know nuts about dolling up..!)
so now.. i must get a job..!!! but i lazy to go find leh..
and they wun employ me straight away anywayz..
so if anyone got any lobang can tell me..!
dun wan those go street sell coupon kind k..
cause i very evil to them.. =P..
might be going china for a short while in december..
okie.. is confirm going..
aunt ella is gonna be in beijing from 13th -18th dec.. cause of some meeting.. so its a good chance for me to meet up with her..
since i think she's gonna sponser my studies..
haiz... i'm really leaving arh..? i dun feel like going overseas for studies AT ALL.. but nus lousy.. no dietetics.. no choice.. =( super depressed..
gotta make friends all over again..!! and ppl here will half forget about me.. hahaz.. day-dreaming already.. get into a college there den say lohz..
still must go take TOFEL.. -_-
and retake SAT I and take SAT II..
i hate SAT I...!!!!! den imagine i gotta study chem and maths all over again..! i already wanna throw those stuff away liaoz.. hahaz..Z
now quite in a relax mood..
but i becoming lazier and lazier.. lazy to reply sms also..
thing alot of ppl sms me den i just ignore..
bad attitude..!!! and geometric is driving me MAD..!! really can't understand wad the hell its saying lohz.. haiz..
continue to mug for 2 more days.. den i'm done with this crapz..
jia you jia you jia you..!!!

its been awhile since i update here..
1 week le..!!
had my chem p3 on monday and maths p1 on tuesday..
chem's fine.. so much better than wad i had expected..
some parts i studied for food chem came out..
could have done better if not for my stubborness
cause i know God tell me to study food storage and periodicity..
and despite me knowing that it'll come out.. i didn't study hard for this 2 topics.. -_-..(cause i hate periodicity..!! and food storage too..!) so when it came out i make mistakeSSSS..! haha.. but over all quite optimistic... maths is the best..!!! i know how to do all the questions..!! i even did both either and or.. haha.. cause i can't decide.. in the end i choose Or.. cause the either last part abit unsure.. oppz..
hAo LiaNEd.. haha..! very very happy for my maths... was very worried in the first place.. cause i very over confident.. later something will happen de.. so i very scared.. scarly later blank out.. den die.. heng never happen sia..! wed and thurs very slack loh.. hee.. but today better.. hmm.. was emailing my aunt ella.. go US study like very hard like that.. need lotsa money.. den the visa also quite hard to get.. cause must have financial support lah.. recommandation letter lah.. this and that loh.. -_- sianz.. how??
haiz.. continue studying now loh.. no choice...
*shake head* HOW..??!!

today's GP paper..
i was on the bus..
Bush won the election..
*disappointed... i like Edwards..! =P
the paper is okie.. compared to every single paper i did.. this is consider good...
i actually managed to finish my comprehension.. even the AQ..!!
though i also not sure wad i'm doing.. HaAhA..! but i kept spelling the word differentiate wrongly.. (i spelt it as differencient.. dunno wad i thinking also.. and i cancel and spell again x 10 times lohz.. still wrong..!)
meet yuzhen for lunch...
ate this super spicy bowl of noodles..
den.. in the late afternoon.. the sky started pouring..
and so did my asshole.. i got diarrhoea..!!!!
first time in my life that i'm getting an upset stomach from eating too spicy.. please..!! my dialect is Sze Chuan..!!!
and since i know how to pick at my food..
i've been eating spices.. nothing was TOO spicy..
till that bowl of noodles..
my stomach is still upset...
and so is my mind..
I GOT GROUNDED
cause of juxuan lah.. this few nights keep calling me..
mummy very pissed liao.. actually i also quite pissed..
always call when i'm eating.. den tell him i having exam..
still want me to chat with him.. dun have to study arh..?
den tonight.. i bathing.. den mummy picked his call.. and tell him off.. oppz.. okie.. i feel very bad.. but very happy too..!
dun have to entertain ppl..
for wad.. i'm the one that's having exams lehz..!!
so ppl... shouldn't be looking for me when u're bored.. i'm a complete no life creature now..!! and i would like to be left alone for the next 20 days..
haiz.. den he call my hp.. so my hp confiscated for tonight..
DaMnEd.. nvm... i'm suppose to be lifeless anyway..
tired liaoz.. go slp liaoz..
chem p3 on monday.. pray for me..

FoOD chEm SuX...!!!
just now i was eating dinner..
and wad i saw was not rice and broccoli..
(oh yes.. i decided actually i like broccoli..)
i saw starch and cellulose..!!!
oh mine.. seriously going mad..
i decided to shut down for exams.. haha..
must really be no life for 20 days from now on..
oh.. i mean 22 days.. shrug..!!
who call myself so slack.. den now cannot finish revision le lah..!
gp in 1 day..!! very nervous..
i must go to bed at 10pm tml..!!
if not later i cannot wake up how..
haha.. going mad..~~~~
back to food chem..
now i'm seeing lipids..!!
in me..!!!!!! haha..
my mummy say i'm too fat.. =(
okie.. she didn't say that.. she say i look like a chunk of meat..
fine..!
DiEt lOhz..!!! aRgh.. A lEvEls.. CHioNg ARH..~~!!!!

HApPiE hAllOwEen..!!!
now i wish to dress like a witch and go parade around the estate.. lOlx..!!!
anyway.. 4 days to my GP paper..
8 days to chem p3.. 9 days to maths p1..
argh.. i'm going mad..!

truly frustrated...!!
argh.. i just want to study..!!!
but can't concentrate..
and i can stop myself from binge eating.. -_-||
StrEsSeD..
toked to daddy..
today's their 16mths..
hAppY mONthsARy dAdDy anD mUmMy!!(or wadeva it is spelt as)
hai.. reminded me that.. if we're still together.. it'll be our 15th month in 6 days.. hai.. kept reminded of this thing today.. morning was looking at the A levels time table.. and saw the small red heart thingy i drew at the top left corner of the 26th square.. should have liquided it away long ago.. but i didn't..
its been almost 2 mths since we broke up.. why am i still thinking of this stuff..? not that i love him anyway.. and i'm not regretting.. i'm just thinkin.. wad will happen if we're still together.. oh.. my.. seem quite erm.. disgusting..? or just can't be imagined...? nah..
brainwash me please..
hai.. been staring at the same page since dunno when.. damn it..
i hate myself..

just watch a show called il mare on the tv..
its a korean movie and this is my second time watching it..
it's a really beautiful show..
after watching it.. i begin to think that well..
life is beautiful..
hee.. i kinda like this kind of show..
its bout this girl..
she's living in yr 2000 and she communicates with a guy that lives in yr 1998..
its very romanic..! and i like the ending.. haha.. cause i hate sad endings..
so ppl out there.. if u haven watch it.. go grab the vcd..! its damn nice..~
oppz. i think i'm mad.. supposed to be studying isn't it..
10 days to A levels.. -_-||

finally settling down to study...
still had my that spinning headache till like 9pm..
bathe for bout half an hour..
think cause i use that extra hot water hor..
den shower my head.. den the blood all rush to my head..
so the headache is finally gone..!! =)
did 20 mcq questions today.. haha..~
that's like the only work i've done since dunno when lohz.. hee..
at least i'm doing work isn't it..?
need to finish my physical chem this weekend..
yupz.. that's it..! jia you..!

was kinda stuck with some virus..
got this headache since evening..
maybe its some food poisoning from seek's steamboat..
o.O? lOlx.. cause she say she vomited after that..
or maybe its because i popped into a air-con room sweaty from the glaring sun.. but i changed..!!!
had a nice time K-ge-ing yesterday..
was supposed to meet jeremy to study today..
but i was late.. for one hour..
and i lost my wallet on the way..
only to be found 15 mins later.. haha..
i was in this super sad mood when this RV boy approached me and say.. "hey.. i found ur wallet and handed it over to the control station.."
woAh..~ really lucky lehz..
not alot of kind ppl nowadays..
and somemore i got forty bucks in that purse...!
(okie.. maybe its praise God..)
now.. back to that jeremy.. he arh..
forgot about our study date..!!
called back when i was about to satisfy my empty stomach..
telling me he's still in school.. and just finish playing soccer.. and completely forgotten bout us suppose to be studying.. -_-||
haiz.. heng i meet junhao sia..! at least got ppl accompany me..
we went to mac and TRIED to study..
end up toking cock till 7... haiz..
den finally i asked to go home.. because i was feeling damn weak..
my head is heavy.. my limbs like jelly..
damn sick.. so i went home and slp...
SLP..
(actually i typed this on 14 oct.. but nvm lahz.. =P)

GueSs wAd..
i didn't wake up to be a panda..
i just become a panda overnight...
haha.. i chit chatted with junhao till sky brightens..
we were on the phone for 5.5 hours..
talked about every possible thing in the world man..
and when dawn break, i was very hungry...!
so the two of us decided to meet for breakfast.. haha..
but hor.. although i was very hungry.. i couldn't finish that bowl of tao suan..
gastric pain like siao sia..!!! den this junhao suddenly took my bowl and eat my leftover tao suan...! i was shocked..! lolx.. my eyeballs almost dropped out lohz.. where got ppl just take and eat one arh? and somemore he's a guy.. i'm a girl lohz.. he should get another spoon..!!
anyway.. we walk about batok.. like parading for his classmates to see lahz.. -_-||
he pei me wait for the bus.. so sweet.. but actually i think he just doesn't wan to go to school lahz...
i reach home den sleep le lohz..
den yuzhen's call woke me up.. ten plus le..
i sleep till the lAsT minute.. before jumping up and wash up and pack up and headed out.. that blur girl arh.. we've arranged to take 502 cause it passes by both our estates.. den i usually take from the second bus stop.. she never see me at the first bus stop den she got down..! den i boarded the bus to find that she's not there.. -_-|| in the end.. we ended up on 105.. den change to 111.. SLOW.. we finally arrived at PS.. got our favourite seats at the cafe.. (i forgot the name..)
i ordered lasagne..! YUMMY.. zhen ordered pizza..
i managed to finish my lasagne and half a slice of her pizza.. (tHAT's alot!!)
that girl arh.. only ate one piece of that pizza..!
wadeva lohz..~
today the cafe waffle half price sia..
and me this greedy pig of course cannot let the chance go by..
so i order waffle with strawberry..
DAMN NICE SIA! even nicer den gelare lehz..
den only 3 bucks..! wah..~
oPp.. i very tired now.. buay tahan le..
i need SLP..!!!
btw.. i just counted my sms.. at the rate i'm smsing..
1000 sms is NOT enough..!! i send like 100 a day... -_-||
wadeva.. cannot go on like that..
must scrimp..! and i need to save up for a lot of things arh..
like erm.. my prom night gown... haha..
and hmm.. my bangkok/malaysia trip(s)..!
hee.. crazy girl.. planning the holidays before the exams..
sLP firSt..!!!

met junhao today with gary..
hee.. they too are really funny..
keep on quarrelling like little kids..
make me feel quite comfortable being with them..
cause their happy spirits are really infectious!!
although i think that used to be my job..
infect ppl with the carefree spirit..
Oh! i also forgot..
today meet kok leong at the wedding dinner..!!
he become slimer since the last time i met him..!!
haha.. more handsome also.. =P
no.. i'm not thinking of anything.. haha..
anyway... shall not talk bout today..
tuesday den say lohz..
tuesday is my farewell...!!! i'm leaving school..
StuDy HArD!
tomolo meeting zhen..
tuesday is relax day.. singing KTV with linda and jars..
wednesday meeting jeremy..
thursday meeting jean..
and i'm gonna MUG hard!!! =)
stAce.. jIa YoU~

just visited amy's blog..
her grandma passed away..
everything was so unpredictable..!!
beside my neighbour that jumped to his death..
i have yet to experience any death yet
but i know its gonna be soon..
cause all my grandparents are older than 80..
and that time.. death brush by daddy...
now i'm kinda scared..
i guess its time to be serious..
serious for this breath that's still in me..

but wadeva lohz.. today
i skipped school as usually..
went to say advance happy birthday to yongjia..
he's face's so pink! haha =P
anyway.. went to coffee's place to teach him maths..
he needs more practice.. much more..
and CONCENTRATION.. i need it too!!!
the most important thing which i lack.. -_-||
madly hoping to be attached now..
not that i regret to that break up..
but.. i need someone by myside.. now..
how i wish to have a part time boyfriend..~
okie.. that's MADDNESS..!!!
haiz.. anyway..
tml i MUST go to school..
only been in school on monday..
i even skipped the mock exam on tues sia..~
wadeva lohz.. haiz...
SIANZ!!!!!

hmm..
skipped blogging for a few days..
cause really nothing to jot down..
today is also a boring day..
haha.. and i wake up at 4pm..
but i ate breakfast b4 going back to slp..
damn piggy!!
i studied for like 1 hour..
before i started playing those stupid computer games...
argh~~
i can't get myself settled down for the exam!!!
tml only have 4 stupid lectures..
and the day ends at 11:10..
i really dunno why i'm going to school for..
but wadeva it is.. i must go!
hmm.. force myself go lohz..
sianz..
but.. i'm not tired lehz...
nevertheless.. must force myself to sleep..
zZz...

its like 1:30 and i'm not asleep..
and i'm not sleepy!
been at this weird habit for quite awhile..
and been putting on weigh since..
(cause i kept eating suppers...!)
i need a change of lifestyle..
feeling weird since i broke up with alf..
friends kept asking if i'm going to consider a patch..
and that's of course NO..
and today.. was real bored..
i was reading coffee's blog..
(got this story that caught my eyes..)
and there is this statement

" Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. They are afraid to be alone - they WANT someone to walk by them. Be it emotionally, sexually or physically. "

- author of that story

that's like so true...
and it applies to me..! exactly wad i'm doing..
i'm just bored of alf's company..
no.. actually i'm bored of him giving in to me..
but i can't do without it..
and i mean the company.. not the giving in..
i dunno wad i'm doing now..
searching for the perfect guy?
oh please.. i'm never gonna find him..
i'm more like flirting at every instant when i can..
and i've never been more shallow than now..
i really need to stand against the wall and sort out the trash in my brains..
nononono.. that's not enuff..
i need to cast out the trash..
should i re-accept God into my life?
i still can't bring myself to do it..
but i know if i do that.. it'll mark the beginning of change
the beginning of getting out of this horrible mess..
i somehow need an aim..
which i seriously doesn't have besides doing well for my A levels.. which are like soooo hard to achieve.. (oh.. its never hard.. i'm just giving excuses.. wadeva..)
if marcus can do it.. why can't i?
maybe like i dun believe in myself..
actually i do.. i do believe i can do better, i do believe chem is easy if i study more.. and mechanics is chicken feet once i get it straight..
and seriously, i hate to collect money..
mrs tee is after my ass for the money for the fun fair ticket that less than half a class paid for.. i'm sure i'm gonna be late for school today.. i'll probably turn up hand her the cash and go back.. i'm so sick of school nowadays.. but i'm as sick of home as i'm sick of school..
basically.. i'm sick of this whole world..
and the way it operates..
i feel like giving up..
and just slash my wrist... or my throat...
but i dun dare.. i'm afraid of pain..
that's real silly lah!
maybe more of my silly tots tml..
slp now.. my shoulders just turned into stones and are screaming at me now.. i couldn't stand another sec of sitting.. i need my pillows..
till tonight..

just back from watching resident evil..
nice.. but short..
as in maybe short for u guys but long for me..
i wish it ended earlier though..
there's the dog scene i hated most..!
those dogs..!! can't they like be more creative and have some other animals.. why is it always dogS?
man's best pal!!??
was just toking bout dogs with juxuan this morning..
he has a pet dog at home.. and i said i'm going visit it..
hee.. i'll reconsider having a dog at home next time..
in case the T virus is going to be in singapore..
oH! wad's wrong with me..?

====== YesteRdAy ======

the four of us decided to go to school late..
haha.. but i was the latest..!
halfway thru ms teo's lecture i walked in..
and halfway thru mrs gay's lecture i walked out..
okie.. i'm a pig! i went to eat..
and toked to alex..
i'm so proud of myself..
but i think that's abit too early for that..
my prelims results are consider good to myself..
but BAD to others..
yup.. BAD! i can't seem to get this into my brains..
StAcE! uR prEliMs rEsuLts ArE BAD..
B. A. D. BAD..! and not the boyband..!
okie.. LAME..
now trying hard to psycho myself to study hard..
which i aren't really doing..
finally for once i turned up in GP..
i think mrs lee was not very excited to see me..
i practically did nothing besides waiting for the bell..
we celebrated sharad's birthday in the cafe..
and den the f maths mock..
GUESS WAD........
i sat down.. did one question on stats.. and SLEPT..
for one whole hour..!
but i still had extra time at the end simply becos i only know how to do 1 out of 5 of the mechanics questions..
that's really HIGH~ lahz..
after school, went to buy the present for my friend's birthday.. -- a comic book..
den mum called.. saying this swimming school asked her to go over for interview..
she's sooo exicited.. like a kid.. dragging me to go purchase swimming gears with her..
we ate dinner b4 heading home..
i was wondering whether to bring my IC..
but i didn't.. and that was the BIG mistake..
i throw on my denim skirt and polo tee..
and headed for orchard..
meet the birthday boy and his friends..
and we walked over to chinablack.. and darn it..!
the stupid woman at the entrance was soooo attitude..
she said without looking "i dun take student pass".. wah.. THANKS..~
anyway.. 2 more ppl haven reach yet.. so we waited..
in the end, we headed down to zouk.. argh~
mambo--> retro--> sian..
heng purture got R&B.. and we managed to dance in that small and squeezing place..
oH! and one of the friends happened to be my primary school mate..! AGAIN!!! why am i seeing my primary school ppl EVERYWHERE?
haha.. and surprisingly.. i think we were in the same class in primary 3.. i completely couldn't remember.. and one of them is really quite shuai.. but he very un-gentleman.. -_-|| zZz.. the night passed quickly.. and me ended it with a tequilla shot.. reAlly -_- le..
cabbed home.. but didn't pay.. my primary school classmate so gentleman sia..
dropped dead on bed..

======ThE eND======

tOdAy i was reading the papers.. and saw this article on a new pillow invented by japan.. called "the boyfriend's arms.." or something.. lazy to check.. it's shaped like a guy's arms.. and wrapped around u when u slp.. that's like so heart warming.. how i wish to get one of those!
maybe a real arm would be even better.. but that would be too hot in the night.. haha..!!
anyway.. pray hard that yq will never visit my blog.. if he see all this.. he'll SLAUGHTER me..
oh.. he wun.. he'll be HURT..
and he'll be completely DISAPPOINTED in the idiot that typed everything on top..
yUp. i'm going to plan a nice time table..
and be early for school tml..!
(well plans dun always work anyway..
i plan them everyday.. *rOll EyEs*)

today was late for school.. as always.. haha..
but i hide behind 1 j1 & the security guard nv catch me..
just went for like one chem tut..
2 breaks and 1 f maths tut lohz..
chem went thru the lab..
which i dun really understand..
still overjoyed in the D for chem thing..
break went to reading room to do hypothesis testing..
not long after i started staring at my work..
there's this lady's voice..
i look up immediately..
and there i saw mrs lee..
my gp tutor.. scolding someone..
i quickly sneaked out of the room from the back door before she saw me.. finally peace..
i was finally doing my hypo when max came along..
and started chit chatting.. and my phone ring..
and den.. that's it.. there goes the 2 periods..
only did 3 questions..
f maths.. very nervous.. got back my maths p2 first..
85/100.. add to my 96/100 for paper 1..
just make it passed 91% overall..
quite happy as i wanted an 90% A..
next, we got back our f maths p2 stats..
got 46.5/57.. consider not bad as i only lost 3.5 marks for stats excluding the OR question.. but i didn't manage to get C...!! argh.. my OR was sooo badly done.. only got half the marks..! wasted sia..
so my results are
A D D C6
first time in history i cleared all man.. so surprised..
after school.. went to buy a cake for sharad..
den headed home.. did hypothesis again.. very sianed..
i went out.. go play pool with my handsome brother..
(jeremy become my bro le..
and actually is i watch him play.. haha)
saw alf at the interchange..
he become more shuai le..
i think he slim down or something..
he didn't even bother to stop and chat with me..
well.. that's a good sign i guess..
oh.. and this friend of jeremy arh..
look so familiar.. i swear i saw him b4..
after the pool session, we went to bowl..
on the way jer's friend..
cher chun ask me wad's my primary school..
and guess wad.. i knew it..! i know him!!
cause we're from the same primary school..!!
haha.. no wonder i find him sooooo familiar..
bowl for one game.. change shoes for 4 times..
i must be the most troublesome customer ever..
i won the game because the two boys are trying to learn how to spin properly..
but 75 is very lousy lohz! at least must 100 mahz.. haiz..
anyway.. the moon is really round..
went home on 176, quite fast as its quite late le bah..
heng this time never miss the stop..
*i'm not that bimbo yet... hee..
very tired le.. zZz..

i got D for my chem..!!!
not F not O not E but D...!!!!
my God.. was very very surprised at my paper 3..
all i expected was 32/100 to pass my chem...
but i got 44..!!!!! so excited now..
f maths mechanic got 9/43.. okie..
u might think it's not good.. but consider that i only did 10 marks worth of questions.. its superb!!!
now i must pray hard that i did do stupid calculation errors for my stats..
if i never screw up my stats..
and get at least 50.5/57..
i'll have a C for f maths..!!! so excited..
think tml getting back maths C paper 2..
very nervous.. wad if.. wad if..
i want my 90% A...!!! very scared..
today *toOt* broaded the same bus as me and lindada..
scared me to death sia.. cause i was digging for my wallet and he just walked pass me onto the stairs.. lindada was up there already..
and i immediately tot, oh no!
but nothing exciting happened..
and me and linda tok cock for the whole trip..
anyway.. tml is mid-autumn festival!!!
i finally bought my snow skin custard mooncake..
can't wait to eat them!!
but i ate one just now.. not very nice..
dunno which year daddy bought one nicer..
i bring four to school tml..
den we can celebrate mid autumn festival together..
toking bout mid-autumn..
i can't help but remember that when i was in primary school i used to play with candles and lanterns at the playground below my house with those kids around my estate.. den secondary 3, i went dating at chinese garden.. den j1 i was playing with candles again! haha.. and SPARKLERS.. this beautiful thing.. how i miss those times.. this yr.. i can only study my mid-autumn away.. because i have f maths p1 mock exam on wed..!!! argh~ and that yq will never let me slack one night away.. (just use him as an excuse.. so as to remind myself that i cannot slackz..)
anyway.. study time!!!
i wanna do my hypothesis testings..

today me and linda and seekee and jars went cycling..
surprisingly, jars is not the last to arrive..
hAhaz.. =P
we took 176 to west coast park only to find that the bicycle rental shop is no longer there.. to add on to that.. it started pouring!! really sianed..
but heng.. i called huiteng and he said east coast is bright and SUNNY!
so we took bus back to jurong (west coast too ulu.. cannot get cab sia..)
and took a cab to east coast..
jurong is pouring by the time we got on the cab..
but sure enough, it become sunny the moment we passed NUS...!
and east coast park is REALLY sunny..!!!
should have went east coast in the first place..
we like already wasted the whole morning..
have problems deciding where to rent the bike also..
finally just anyhow rented one..
cycling is tiring!!
we went to the eXtrEMe left of east coast park.. very far..
and was very tired when we came back..
took a number of pictures..
kept asking ppl to take for us(we took turns to ask lahz)..
but why my turn so maluated??
the rest ask den the ppl agreeded at once..
i asked the person she immediately say she dunno how to use and pass to her friends..
-_-|| make me so diaoed..~
we cycle till whole body sore den finally back at the rental shop..
jars' sandals CMI.. so have to buy new slippers..
i ate my favourite gelare cookies and cream..
been eating too much ice creams nowadays..
*StAcE looked at her TUMMY... SigH..*
i must go DIET le.. zZz.. sO PLum!!
we took cab to the nearest mrt and headed to amy's condo..
where we're suppose to go swimming..
we slacked at her house till dunno when before we finally went down to the pool..
she led us to this furobath.. very nice!
the water is around 40 degrees, but i only managed to stay inside for ten mins..
cannot tahan!
haha.. next we went to the massaging pool.. shiok! i really need a massage sia!! so suan everywhere.. finally i went into the pool to swim... haha.. but only swam like 30 metres.. den went off le.. -_-|| cause meeting this friend of mine - jeremy to teach him A maths.. was LATE..! i knew it.. i must be late for once in a day!!!
argh.. i'm such a bad girl..! so not punctual sia
anyway, we were at BK.. and he ask me this relative velocity question..
and guess wad..
i DUNNO how to do!!!
so malu! in the end also never teach him much..
sadded.. i really can't go teach tuition..
the student sure think she's wasting money..
chit chatted with jeremy till bout 9 at mos burger..
ate my favourite rice burger and nice ice milk tea.. hee...
been chatting online since i reached home..
today very slack.. never study at all..!
bad girl.. but very tired lehz..
i going to slp le... zZzz...

nothing interesting today..
so guys.. dun have to read..
wake up at 7 plus today..
doesn't really feel very tired..
BUT.. i am TIRED..
still slackin on bed at 8am..
i received a msg from jinwei..
asking me where i am..
i supposed to meet him at 8:30am
so i tot he's there already...
make me panic for 2 mins..
in the end.. he's just checking whether i wake up le..
anyway, gathered my old clothes and newspaper..
and headed to meet jinwei..
i look like a fool with the clothes & newspapers..
or at least i make a fool of myself..
looking like a clown when i board and alight the bus..
worse thing.. i board 154 from clementi..
but i have no idea where's ngee ann.. so i tell myself..
alight when everybody is alighting..
so there's this bus stop when everybody's alighting..
so i did.. and its not ngee ann.. its SIM..
thanks..! and there comes 61,
so i immediately wave and jumped onto the bus..
and unfortunately.. dad's on the bus..
and he looked at me with this ultimate diaoed face..
i'm just bimbo lahz~
saw yanwei.. he say he's going to watch us play..
i handed the things to jinwei..
and we all waited for melvin chay
we slowly make our way to the court..
dad says today he got one handsome friend coming..
and this guy just broke up 2 days ago.. -_-||
englong they all already there le..
so we shoot ball for dunno how long..
finally the girls are here..!
we girls played among ourselves..
den the whole gang of us decided to move to the full courts.. (we were at half courts.. or rather 1/3 courts..)
when we arrived at the full court..
we saw poles in the middle of the court..
and volleyball nets... -_-|||
so we were like okie lohz..
just play half court half court lohz..
suddenly yanwei managed to pulled out one of the poles..=.+!!! and the guys helped with the other one.. haha and we get to play full court! so fun..
we play and play till 2 pm..
my stomach was groaning like mad..
and i went to eat a fruit cake.. yummy..
finally we decided to call it an end and go to eat!
dunno wad time we arrived at the bukit timah market..
but i agree that food there very nice..
ate fish slice mian xian.. nice sia~
after that.. went home to zzZz..
mummy bought apples.. very nice...!
stop.. i very tired.. going to slp..

i'm on the phone with seekee linda and jasmine now..!
first time the 4 of us conference together..
today late for school again..
hAIz! got back my practical today...
49/75.. very surprised.. tot i'll get worse than that..
quite happy.. this means tat i only needs to get 32/100 for my paper 3 to pass chem...! i got chance to pass chem le..!
finally cleared my doubts for stats questions i accumulated during prelims with ms kwan...
chem lect is boring..
mrs wong going thru our practical.. made me soooo mAd!
after that mr wong went through the prac we did on monday..
wad lao eh! (copy linda).. finally school ends..!
i ate pattaya rice.. nice nice.. got egg..~ hee..
den went to orchard with linda and katherine..
they going to buy bikini >.<
anyway.. the terminal is great!!
rated:
heehee..
the story got plot, got comedy and got romance..! damn nice sia..
one of the best i watch this year.
anyway.. just now talking to someone..
den i just casually asked
u in love with me arh..
and he says yes.. love at first sight (this is the summary..)
i'm like !!!!!! wad?!!!! okie.. but i'm okie now le..
just a bit shocked.. like that also can arh..
i dun believe in love at first sight this kind of thing..
and i like old man.. but actually i accept both my age and older den me.. hee.. dun be too old can le.. and although me like yq.. but he toooooo old and we're not possible sia.. lOlx..
although i a bit feel like dating now..
ArGH~
i'm MAD.. just finally after so much cold sweat got back into singlehood and u wan to get attached again??! no way!!
i'm going to enjoy life with my guy friends for no strings attached man.. so tiring.. and my 'A's.. zZz..
oh.. after 'A's sure go man hunting.. *oPpx.. sounds pervertic..
wAhahz.. i'm gonna find someone at least 180cm.. how cum cannot find arh? 180.. not too much a request sia...
or.. i should just wait for God to arrange..
hmm.. be patient bah stace..!
very tired liao sia.. zZz..

Work sucks today..
I walked for 5 hours none stop throughout the whole wedding!!!
madness.. And still.. I'm scolded.. for standing for 5 seconds..!!
argh~ okie.. i'm angry with myself again..
why?
reason one: i'm late for school
reason two: i skipped gp tutorial
reason three: i ate one whole pack of chocolate chip cookies..!!!
ARGH...! i'm goin to get DC, flunk gp and Grow Fat...!!!
can't believe this is happening to me!!!
meet Gary, my long lost friend.. hurhur.., for dinner today
dun to me overeating.. i only ate one bowl of soursop ice.. but its nice..
actually nothing much to say to him, but still, the atmosphere is quite nice..
hmm.. although i make my way to imm earlier den i always do.. i was LATE again for work!! argh.. forever one lehz..
the bride and groom was quite okie..
but there's this one cute hunk at my table..!
he reminds me of jeremy from my school's dance..
but taller, more handsome and charming!
however, his girlfriend is right beside him so i can only steal glimpse of him when i serve their table.. heehee...
the other table of mine was drinking XO like siao..
i have to keep on walking to the counter to get it!!!
and they are really shui tong man..
keep drinking so fast.. especially that cute hunk!!
he drinks shandy like water and 7-up like shandy.. (simply means he drinks very fast..)
wadeva it is, i'm done.. but i think i had a very black face..
oPpz.. haha, and i arranged a movie date with gary next thurs..
watching resident evil2.. watch the first with dad.. and although i absorbed the whole show, i had bad dreams for dunno how long sia..!
haha.. and i swear not to watch resident evil2, but the trailer is sooo tempting and well, i'm going to watch it.. lOlx..
wadeva, i'm going to bed now..
so tired and there's school tml..
and i going to watch movie with huiTeng..
and i going for service after that..
zZz...
TIRED siA..

well..
its been a while since i sat down to type..
anyway..
yesterday got scolded by yq.. and truely i deserves it..
dunno what on earth i'm thinking..
probably mad at myself again.. haha..
mad at myself for wad..? for being ridiculous!
i'm free yet i dun wan to go for service.. zZz..
but really dunno lehz..
i very scare of the "feel like going for alter call" feeling..
yq was real mad at me.. although he sounds peaceful but everyword is like squeezed through his teeth.. s
o we hang up at around 2..
and i closed my eyes trying hard to slp..
but.. *tiCk tiCk tIck* the swatch my team mates brought is ticking soo loudly.. but that's not the mean reason.. i open my eyes and took a look at my phone.. 2:40am and i'm still bright awake.. thinking of smsing yq sorry.. but i didn't.. so i tot.. write him an email? well i type the email but deleted it in the end.. *i'm always washy wishy when it comes to this kind of things..
or just that i'm always washy wishy.. lOlx...
anyway.. soon its 4 plus.. i feel really tired... but my brain refuses to rest!! stupid brain..! dunno after how long..
i'm woken by some sound..
seekee: stace!! u still slping arh?!!!?
oppz.. that's like 8++am already...
and i didn't go to school.. cause my head spins...~
and i'm sorry..
yes.. stace is sorry for ponning school.. (o.O.. that's new)went back to slp.. waking up at 12+..
head doesn't spin le.. but tummy does.. haha..
yq actually smsed me..
i tot he's gonna ignore me forever...!!
i was still planning how to apologise for being riculous..
anyway.. i promised that i'm gonna study hard sincerely..
but i feel damn bad lahz..
because one end says study hard..
and other i skipped school (not on purpose...~~~)
i'm a IdOit.. break the promise b4 i even made it..!
tml..tml i'm going to be on time for school..!
think tml can get back maths C paper 2.. *shIveRs*
wondering whether my target for maths can be met or not..
i mugged REAL hard for paper 2 sia..
and stats is my best topic..
toking bout prelims..
so far.. i'm passing all my A levels sub..
but i got a miserable 39% overall for GP.. they say there's gonna be moderation.. but i dun think that makes a difference.. no matter how they moderate.. i'm not going to pass lohz..
oh.. and i going work tml night.. restaurant needs help.. and i need some extra cash before i die in that $$80 buck fone bill.. and that $71 savings plan.. zZzz... and i'm gonna meet my long lost friend tml for dinner.. ^^* lOokIng foRwARd..!

woho..
finally i've got this thing DONE..
need a place to vent my feelings sia.. hee..
<--- tag the board if u happens to visit.. =)